Survive Bikini Bottom Class Picker

Use this in the lobby. The tier list is the essay. This tool is the decision tree. Perk text sits on all classes.

Question 1 — How many humans revive you?

• Just you: Pioneer if broke, GG Rockstar if rich, Bruiser if you already melee well. Doctor is a bandage box.
• Two to five regulars: Someone must be Doctor. Then a Rockstar or Bandit. Then flexible Pioneer bodies.
• Random publics: Pioneer or Rockstar. Do not trust a stranger to play Doctor.

Question 2 — How many Doubloons do you have?

Bank	Buy	Do not buy
Under 50	Stay free or Camp Scout only if you insist on spending	Anything with a 500 tag
Mid pile	Pioneer or Doctor	Defender, Drifter, a third Trapper
500+	GG Rockstar if you clear Sandy already	Mercenary Robux “because it is there”
Robux itching	Still no unless you like the cutlass fantasy	Any bundle you have not read

Farm path: Doubloons. Codes will not appear as a fourth column. Codes are empty.

Question 3 — What failed last run?

• Died outside the circle: not a class. Sea Bear.
• Lost the key walk: compass and daylight. Rescue checklist.
• Wiped on revives: Doctor.
• Wiped on ammo: Rockstar or spatulas, not another Pioneer.
• Wiped in the maze: Bruiser or reserved ketchup. Weapons.
• Wiped because nobody fed the hive: kick that player, do not buy Jellyfisher for everyone.

Edge cases the tree still answers

You have 500 coins and a group that never dies. Skip Doctor, buy Rockstar, keep a Pioneer for keys. You have 500 coins and a group that dies to windows. Buy Doctor anyway; the guitar can wait one farm. You have 20 coins and pride. Stay free. Pride does not stun the bear.

You already own Defender. Play it until the next farm, then stop upgrading it. The picker is allowed to say “you already made the mistake.” You already own Rockstar and hate the guitar energy. Then your problem is a perk upgrade, not a new body—check the live card for energy-on-kill before you rage-buy Bandit.

Twitch viewers in your server are not a role. Do not buy a meme class for a clip if the hive is level 5 and Patrick still needs keys.

Quick outputs

• New, solo, broke → free kit, then Pioneer. Best starter.
• New, stacked, mid pile → Doctor.
• Experienced, solo, 500 → Rockstar.
• Experienced, stacked, 500 → Rockstar plus a friend on Doctor.
• Only farming coins → Cursed Soul for a night, then switch.

Related

Role essay: solo versus team. Still in the first hour? Getting started. Next tool: crafting planner.

Write the answer in chat before anyone opens the shop. If the answer takes more than one sentence, you are bargaining, not picking. Bargain after the run, when Doubloons are already earned.

If the picker says Pioneer and you buy Rockstar anyway, that is allowed. You just spent the farm. Do not come back to this page asking why the guitar felt expensive. The tree told you the price of skipping the teacher. If two answers fit, pick the cheaper one and farm again later.